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***UPDATE — 6 months after completing this repair, I removed my oil pan to check and the bolts and nuts were all still tight. So the repair has worked and things are still looking great. ***

In this video we’re working on the BMW V8 M60 engine (E34 540i had this engine, as did E32 740i, E38 740i, and E31 840i).

If you run into problems, head over to bimmerforums.com. There are a lot of great guys there who are happy to help — they helped me diagnose this problem and so I decided to video it to help anyone else.

This video shows you how to fix low engine oil pressure that causes two related symptoms:

1) the engine ticking that is coming from the cylinder heads, caused by low oil pressure, which is making the valve lifters collapse

2) low engine oil pressure, which is indicated on the dashboard check panel as “ENGINE OIL PRESS”

Likely cause of low engine oil pressure:
It is common for the oil pump bolts to become loose on these engines, and over time, back themselves out and fall into the oil pan.

You may have this problem if you are seeing the two symptoms described above.

One quick way to tell is if you drain the oil from the car, and using a rubber mallet, rap on the bottom of the oil pan at its lowest point. You can hear the bolts in the pan bouncing around — you will need to drain as much of the oil as possible and give the pan a good whack with the mallet. When I did this, it sounded like quarters bouncing around in there.

Even a newbie can follow the steps in this video and fix the problem at home. Here is what you will need:

TIME: 2-3 hours for a weekend warrior. 4-6 for a novice.

TOOLS YOU WILL NEED:
• A Bentley repair manual for E34 can be helpful for this and other repairs in the future, but not required as this video explains the steps well
• jack stands
• floor jack
• oil pan for catching old oil (needs to hold 8+ quarts)
• several rags
• nitrile/vinyl gloves
• 3/8″ ratchet drive and various extensions
• 3/8″ drive sockets 10m, 13mm, 17mm
• 3/8″ drive torque wrench, or 1/2″ drive torque wrench with 3/8″ adapter
• 1/4″ ratchet drive with 10mm socket
• Breaker bar (I used 1/2″ drive with a 3/8″ adapter) just to coax off the oil drain plug, and maybe for the oil filter housing
• 10mm open end wrench
• gasket scraper or razor blade and steady hand
• 8mm hex wrench (allen key)
• headlamp, flashlight or shop light will be helpful
• a very large adjustable (crescent) wrench, or 36mm socket or 36mm wrench for the oil filter housing. A special socket is available from bavauto.com for this, P/N 02341

PARTS YOU WILL NEED:
• BRAKE PARTS CLEANER – - I didn’t use this in the video, but so many of you commented and it’s a great idea… I should have used it. Use it to clean the oil out of the threads on the bolts and the holes the bolts will go into, before you apply the locktite. Thanks for the suggestion guys!
• 8 quarts of new oil – I suggest Mobile 1, 0w40. Personally, I used 1 quart of Lucas Heavy Duty Oil Stabilizer and 7 quarts of Mobile 1, 0w40.
• new oil pan gasket BMW P/N 11131436324
• new oil filter (part number depends, check realoem.com)
• new oil filter housing o-ring BMW P/N 11421741000
• new drain plug crush washer BMW P/N 07119963151
• OR you can get the oil filter set from the dealer, which includes: new oil filter + filter housing o-ring + drain crush washer as BMW P/N 11427510717
optional: Oil Pressure Switch BMW P/N 12617620512

After completing this repair, if you still have ticking, you may have a failing oil pump, or worn followers (hydraulic lifters) in the cylinder heads and will need to replace them. A Bentley manual for E34 can be helpful. So can help from a more experienced buddy from your local BMW club, BMWCCA chapter, or German auto club. Also, for some people that are having ticking or engine chatter but did not find their oil pump bolts loose, your chatter may go away simply by switching to an oil like Mobile 1, 0W40 with a quart of Lucas Heavy Duty Oil Stabilizer.

I welcome your comments unless you’re a douchebag or drive a Dodge. Happy wrenching.

Having the gear is not enough, you also need the practice & skill to know how to use it well. It was worth it to practice these things (except the fire extinguisher.) It’s important to study how to use our gear as well as have it. BTW I’m an airport screener speaking loudly & slowly to confused passengers all day so please forgive the way I talk.

Shelter or warmth
 Reflective “aluminized” (Mylar coated) space blanket or survival blanket to retain body heat (and signal)
 Lightweight poncho for protection against wind and rain
 “Tube tent” or bivvy bag
 Tarp with grommets or tie-tapes (best if nylon or polyester)
 Large plastic trash bag as poncho or expedient shelter roof
 Ferrocerium rod (AKA “Metal match”, “Hot Spark”, “Firesteel”, “Magnesium fire starter”) and fire striker for fire-starting, Fire piston or Solar Spark Lighter
 Waterproof matches or cigarette lighter
 Cotton balls or pads smeared with petroleum jelly for fire starting (can be carried in 35 mm container or heat-sealed inside large diameter plastic straw)
 Catalytic heater and bottled gas fuel
Health and first aid
First aid kit with:
 Bandages
 Band-aids
 Sterile combine dressing, and gauze pads
 Adhesive tape, and gauze tape
 Medical tweezers
 Surgical razor or scalpel
 Disinfectant pads
 Latex gloves (rubber if allergic to latex, to protect first aider against infection)
 A 30 day supply of personal prescription medication
 Antibiotic cream
 Epinephrine and antihistamines for allergic reactions, primarily to insect stings
 Rubbing alcohol
 Suture kit or sterile disposable surgical stapler
 Oxytetracycline tablets (for diarrhea or infection)
 Aspirin
 Extra pair of prescription eyeglasses or contacts
 Salt is an essential mineral for health. Salt containing potassium chloride, sold widely as low sodium salt, can be used to prevent dehydration from diarrhea and can save most cholera deaths. (See Oral rehydration therapy)
 Multivitamin and mineral supplements. Zinc supplements are useful in treating diarrheal intestinal tract infections, especially in children.
 Sunscreen (where appropriate, above 30 SPF)
 100% UV protective sunglasses (“UV 400″) (protects eyes from harmful UV radiation. Polarized glasses are not necessarily UV protective, but aid with glare only)
Food and water
 Water in sealed containers for dry areas, or water purification tablets or household
 Heavy duty aluminum foil to create a distillation tube to remove salt from salt water during boiling/condensation. Must have another receptacle to collect condensate.
 Canned food, Ready-to-eat meals (MRE), or high-energy foods such as chocolate or emergency food bars.
 Fishing line and gear (fish hooks, lures, and split shot leads)
 Snare wire
 Gillnetting (for emergency fishing)

Signaling, navigation and reference
Since the primary goal of a survival kit for lost or injured persons is rescue, this part of the kit is the most essential.
 Whistle.
 Signal mirror.
 High power LED light (able to have batteries replaced, and carry an extra battery), white lens, with signaling capabilities. Strobe versions are available for some lights. Use lithium cells only, due to superior shelf life.
 Flare: three fires in a triangle is the international distress signal
 Laser pointer with lithium batteries, for superior signaling range. Laser pointers have resulted in at least one rescue: during the night in August 2010 two men and a boy were rescued from marshland after their red laser pen was spotted by rescue teams.[2]
 Surveyor’s tape – orange or chartreuse for marking location for rescuers
 Pen/pencil and paper for leaving notes to rescuers about direction of travel
 Compass or analog watch – See direction finding using a watch
 Trail maps/charts (if location is known in advance)
 Survival manual for technique reference
Multipurpose tools or materials
 Fixed-blade knife, or multitool such as a Swiss Army knife.
 Can opener
 Heavy-duty needle and thread for repairing clothing and equipment
 Red or orange plastic bag(s) or trash bags
 Sturdy cord or “550″ parachute cord for setting up a tarpaulinand snaring small animals
 Hatchet with sheath for cold conditions, or machete for tropical conditions (shelter and fire)
 Camp stove or some type of gas burner and fuel such as bottled propane or Liquefied petroleum gas (LPG)
 Candles for light, signaling, firestarting
 Metal billycan or “water bottle” for water storage, boiling, purification, cooking
 Compact saw such as Japanese style backsaw with coarse teeth (folding models available). Bow saws can quickly cut larger diameter limbs and small trees
 Solar charger
Folding saw – a very versatile tool is the folding saw for cutting wood for the purposes of building, fire, walking aids, splints etc.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Survival_kit